Z is for Zonda

I sat in a bus for five hours today. The seats were leather. The internet connection was iffy. The outlet didn’t let me plug my charger in. The guy beside me went outside to smoke and ended up smelling really bad. He also had a habit of putting his elbow into my rib. The man behind me hates cars. I was watching Top Gear, which I love more and more as time goes by.

I can talk cars, at least somewhat, thanks to this show. It’s because of them that I won’t become intimidated by mentions of torque or horsepower. I can understand the difference between what the speed dial says the car’s top speed is and what it really is. I know about the Bugatti Veyron, how it’s built by Volkswagen who pretty much suck at accounting. I long for a Range Rover. I think Zondas are sexy. I mean, look at this car.

(Images taken from Series 7, Episode 3)

Look, Richard Hammond’s driving it! You know he’s utterly precious. Did you know he was once voted as one of the weirdest celebrity crushes? Anyway, back to manly things. Like cars.

According to Top Gear, if you shout manly words at the driver like sledgehammer or beer, the driver will speed up. If, however, you shout things like bra and skirt, the driver slows down. So if you’re stuck in traffic and it’s because of a guy, you should roll down the window and yell very manly words at him. Then the crisis will be averted. Hopefully.

So now it’s time for me to go watch Top Gear again. I want to watch Series 7, Episode 3. Although S11E3 where James May says a very awkward “hello”.