The South Hates Northern Mascara… Duh.

One of my favorite things is looking back at people’s search terms. I love being able to see how people stumbled upon my blog. It really entertains me. So much so that about a month ago, I did a post to help those poor lost souls who managed to get here. I figured if Google sent them, I might as well help out somehow! Since it was such a long time ago, and I get bored easily, I’ve decided to go at it again.

“grey suit with red tie”

(Image from here.)

How’s that bow-tie working for you? I’m a huge fan of bow-ties and skinny ties. They just make me really happy. The first time I saw a guy in one, it was Mika.

Excuse the shoddy camera work. It was an attempt at a picture taken at the Fete de la Musique in Paris. My cousins, who live in Paris, went with me.

These are the same cousins I spent all of my summers in Poland with. It was on a farm in the middle of nowhere where cats pretty much ran wild. The first time I went there I was ten and there was a newly born kitten. She was the most adorable shade of light gray. I named her Mika. Then once Mika the Singer became Mika the Singer, every time I heard his name I thought and continue to think of Mika the Cat. That and how after I saw Mika in concert I had to take a bus from Paris to Poland with my cousins and my little eight year old cousin was getting upset so we sang along to “Lollipop” and she sang with her very broken adorable English. And then everyone on the bus almost kicked me off the bus because I had an American passport instead of an EU one and forced all of the border control people to search the bus. The fat drunken man beside me was quite upset.

What was I writing about? A grey suit with a red tie? Oh yeah. Anyway, let’s move on to the next fun search term.

“a picture of some cheese”

Hmmm. What kind of cheese? There’s a lot of different types of cheese. My personal favorites are Munster and Monterey Jack.

(Image from here.)

Have you ever made nachos using Monterey Jack? All you need to do is whip up a quick salsa, lay some chips out, grate the cheese, and set the chips and cheese to broil. Yum. So good.

“skater girl dirty blonde”

Back in 7th grade, Avril Lavigne was really huge. That whole “Skater Boy” song came out. Only wasn’t “skater” spelled “sk8r” and “boy” “boi”? God I had that whole misspelling-on-purpose thing. Either way, Avril was the shit. Everyone loved her. I liked her so much that I bought her CD and listened to her on my portable CD player. Yeah, I was cool. I listened to it everywhere, including on the bus to school. And the song was SO awesome that I just couldn’t help myself and started singing along under my breath. Or at least I thought it was under my breath.

It wasn’t.

“how do you know if your house is haunted”

I’ve had a LOT of searches for this, probably because I wrote all about how my house back in South Carolina makes lots of noises and sounds haunted, even though it’s only 7 years old. So to everyone googling it, there you go. Just click that. And then pray that the ghost doesn’t come eat you. Because ghosts eat people. Didn’t you know that?

“best mascara for southerners”

Uh. I had no idea that Southerners required a different type of mascara than Northerners. I mean, I know the North and South aren’t best friends forevah and evah but I didn’t know the hatred ran so deep that we can’t all just use the same mascara. But hey, who am I to judge?

From my experience in the South, the girls like really long thick lashes that aren’t the least bit clumpy. I remember people being made fun of for having lumps in their mascara. No joke. So what kind of mascara isn’t jumpy and blotty?

This kind!

(Image from here.)

That concludes this episode of “Random Shit People Type In And Find Me”. If you end up having a legitimate question, you can totally email me at ania[at]pepperedhearts.com . OR you can just go to Twitter and write @pepperedhearts along with anything.