I’m Dreaming of a Sexy House With a Twilight Saga Bedroom And a Shit Grey Suit

I try to limit the amount of times I check my blog stats to once a week, less if I haven’t posted often. That’s why search terms slip right past me sometimes. Luckily, WordPress has this fabulous feature that I can see all the terms for a month. And some of these terms really need to be addressed.

“twilight saga room theme”

Please don’t decorate your room to make it look like Twilight. If you really want a Twilight decorated room, go to Forks and stay here. You can stay in a room that looks like this.

(Found here).

Although if you stay there, I’m pretty sure they have a disclaimer that reads something like this:

A stay at the Pacific Inn Motel does not guarantee the presence of a godlike vampire arriving in the room and watching as you sleep. Nor are any Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen sightings included in the price of the room. Furthermore, Edward Cullen is not real. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. All bloodsucking activity must be done off of the premises. The Pacific Inn Motel is not responsible for any Twilight induced hysteria. If you are unhappy with your stay at the Pacific Inn Motel, feel free to phone Stephenie Meyers and lodge any complaints about the Twilight franchise. Enjoy your stay in Forks.

Also Twilight themed is this search term: “why edward cullen is a creeper”

This comes up a lot, which is really comforting because it means that my generation isn’t as idiotic as Facebook bumperstickers imply. So to everyone who searches for the reasons as to why Edward Cullen should probably stop peeping in to Bella’s window and start a shoe string collection: Thank you. I also have “edward cullen bipolar” as a search term, which I love very, very much and definitely agree with.

Anyway, Edward Cullen is scary for multiple reasons. But, just in case you’re feeling lazy and don’t want to click on that link, here’s the ultimate reason why.

EDWARD STALKED BELLA. He was a stalker. He watched her while she slept. He was IN HER ROOM WITHOUT HER KNOWING IT. I apologize for the caps and the bold but I mean really. The guy was a creeper. He watched her while she slept. He followed her to a different city. He read the thoughts of the people around her so he could try and figure her mind out. He watched her while she slept and she had no clue he was there. She was okay with this. This is completely unhealthy. It is NOT okay for someone to sit in your room and watch you sleep without your consent, no matter how cute and romantic you think it is. It’s scary.

“dream sex house” “sexdream”

The wording on this item has me a bit confused. Are they searching for a house they dreamed they had sex in? Or are they searching for the perfect house for sex? Because if it’s the latter, wouldn’t any house suffice? I mean as long as it’s not all gross and dirty. I’d be more concerned with who rather than where but that’s just me.

As to “sexdream”, shouldn’t that be two words?

“shit grey suit”

Why would you want a grey suit that’s the color of poop? And if you do, I’m sorry but I refuse to do a Google image search for that. You’re going to have to fly solo with that one.

“goodbye everyone”

Wow. I just searched for that and it’s rather depressing. The thing is, I don’t see how you stumbled on to my blog by searching for that. Also, were you just searching a way to say goodbye to everyone because you’re moving to Wallis and Futuna and want to have a fantastic going-away party with hot pink elephants and green penguins or was it something more deliberate and sinister? Please say it was just a party. I’d feel much better that way. Thanks.