I Almost Died. Or Killed Someone.

In the past two weeks, I have:

• been in a cab that legitimately went 90 mph in Manhattan. Do you know how hard it is to go 50 mph in Manhattan? Now imagine being in a cab going almost twice that. Oh and did I mention that the cab hit a guy. No lie. We hit someone. And then the cabdriver called the guy he hit an asshole. While there was a firetruck beside us, staring at the cabbie like he’s insane, which he so was. It was so bad that the firefighters legitimately offered to drive me and my friend (P) so we could get out of the psycho-driver’s car. Only we kept going since the light turned green and cabbie dear floored it.
• met foreign boys who like girls. Do you know how rare that is? It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. Seriously. P and I  hung out with them a few times before they left. We really got along with two of the guys and they facebooked us. Like put loads of effort in to finding us on facebook, sending us messages, and then falling off the face of the damn earth. Really? Why go through the trouble of facebooking us to only cut off communication? Especially because it lacked closure. Way to go, foreigners.
• witnessed a crime. Okay, so it wasn’t as dramatic as it sounds but it was still pretty cool. P and I were at Mickey Dee’s over in Times Square at midnight one night, getting shakes. There was a huge crowd of people and a group ordered like $150 worth of food. One of the boys went upstairs with the drinks and the girl behind the counter put the food bags on the counter. Well this guy in a white shirt comes up and grabs one and leaves. Everyone assumes he’s with the group but HE’S NOT!!! He waltzed in and stole a huge bag of food! How crazy is that shit? How desperate must you be to steal from McD’s? And so the guy who went upstairs with the drinks is like “where did my food go?” and the girl behind the counter starts saying he took it and they get in this huge altercation that results in the manager watching the tapes to show that they never got their food. P and I were witnesses. Oh yeah.
• gone to school. Yeah. That thing.

Also, I need this bag in my life. And it’s so expensive but I actually got that EXACT amount recently and it’s soooo burning a hole in my pocket the size of the Grand Canyon. I want it. Bad.