I have never been on a date. No one has ever asked me out on one. Or at least not in so many terms. And I’m not quite sure why.
I’ve had a few boyfriends. I’ve met a few guys who didn’t end up being boyfriends but we hung out nonetheless. None of these boys ever asked me out on a date. We’ve gone to the movies. We’ve gone on walks. We’ve gone out to eat. We’ve just sat around and hung out in people’s rooms. But none of those have ever been called dates And so now I’m stuck here at nearly twenty wondering what the hell a date is and why haven’t I been asked out on one.
Obviously for it to count as a date both people must know that there’s interest in pursuing something more. I mean, you can’t just go around considering every male-female hang out a date unless you’re a certain creeper who goes to my school. He considers everything a date. Like having dinner together in the cafeteria by accident. Total date, by his standards. But not by mine and most non-insane people’s. Therefore, for it to be a date it must be mutual interest.
This is also where it gets a little hazy, at least to me. I’m absolute crap at being able to tell whether someone is interested in me. Especially in college, where most of the guys I know are gay and the ones that aren’t probably haven’t come out yet. The few straight ones that come along tend to throw me off. Add to that the fact that I really cannot tell if someone is just being nice or flirting, and I’m utterly hopeless. I tend to assume everyone’s just being friendly and they’re not interested in me, no matter how blatant it might sometimes appear. This is presumably how I’ve gotten myself into a situation where I don’t think I’ve ever gone out on a date before.
Another thing that confuses me as to the “date” aspect is the whole guy-paying thing. None of my boyfriends ever paid for me. Mostly because we were in high school and broke but that was never an issue for me. I don’t care if I pay. Sometimes I even prefer it. But when a guy goes out of his way to pay for your ticket, is that a sign that you’re on a date?
Or have we just stopped calling it a date altogether? Is hanging out now equivalent to going out on a date? Is hooking up the same as dating? Did I completely miss some memo explaining when guys stopped asking girls out on dates and we began hanging out? Because if so, I’d really like to see a copy of that.
I wish we could go back to fourth grade, where you passed a note saying “Do you like me? Check yes or no” because that would make my life much simpler. Can anyone clarify this whole dating nonsense for me? Because from where I’m standing, it’s a mess.
Wow, if I were back on the “dating scene” I would absolutely send a guy a note saying “do you like me” or something else fourth grade-ish…I actually think it’s kind of cute!! Why the hell not?
I’ve been single for about a year and half now (after being in a relationship for the previous three years or so) and dating is a mess. I’ve never been on an actual date before either. I guess b/c in high school that’s just on it was and once I got to college, no one really had money to go out. It seems most of the “get to know each other” steps take place via text or internet. The whole thing is indeed a mess.
I just had my first date last May with my boyfriend. And before him I dated a guy for 2 1/2 years….no date then, EVER.
So I consider myself lucky.
As long as you’re both attracted to each other, hanging out becomes a date. There’s no reason why it has to be a date where you’re taken to some restaurant then go back to see a film or something stereotypical like that. A walk in the woods or a visit to somewhere is twice the fun, and I reckon it forms closer bonds as it leaves you with a wider range of memories ^_^
Umm….I am 23 and have been on maybe 1-3 dates. And I say “maybe” because one of them my best friend (a guy) paid for and the other two were with my ex-boyfriend.
I love that I am not the only one thinking this. What happened to dating? When did “hanging out” become the new dating and “hooking up” is sex?
I’ve made a pact with myself to only go on dates. We shall see how long this lasts. LOL.
Cheers,
Ms. Manda
I think dating is pretty much done with, sadly. I almost feel as if men aren’t willing to risk asking us to do something so big so we just kind of get eased into relationships by hanging out.