The Art of Procrastination (Or Why I’m Really Writing a Post)

i dont want a boyfriend. i want a man that i like and he knows it and i want him to like me and i’ll know it. and i want him to kiss me out of the moment not because of the title. i want something unspoken that everyone will think we’re just friends but we’ll know its much more.

I wish I was kidding when I said that was a search. Apparently I missed the memo that said Google’s search bar is meant for complex sentences about your preferred companion. And the one where my blog became the go-to place for that. I’m pretty sure I haven’t written anything about an ideal boyfriend, mainly because who the hell really knows what they want. While I may or may not have a laundry list of things I’d like him to be like, it’s the furthest thing from definitive. The thing is, the search is sweet. The searcher is looking for someone who can be her best friend and more. That’s an amazing sentiment and something I’d like too. I just don’t really understand how a Google search brought her here. But then again, strange and sometimes creepy searches send things my way.

Catholic school girls

Another popular search that brings multitudes, probably because I wrote this. Well sorry ya’ll but I clearly defined myself as a n0t-whorish kind of Catholic school girl. I even included a picture! I think we need a refresher here.

See, me = long plaid skirt to the knees. Not ab-showing. Sorry. It’s probably for the best though. I do extend my apologies to those who stumble upon my blog searching for Catholic school girls or “naughty school teacher”. This definitely isn’t that kind of blog.

Another thing it is not okay to search for and find my blog?

hot 6th grade girls

I thought we already discussed this. Yep. We have. But just like with my whole “not the skanky Catholic school girl” thing, I think this needs repeating. Mainly because I’m hoping that this is something searched for by other sixth graders and not creepy old men because that’s just… yeah. I can’t go there. So sixth graders out there, please don’t have sex. You’re like eleven years old. Harry Potter was eleven when he went off to Hogwarts and you can bet he wasn’t having sex yet. Granted he was off saving the entire wizarding world and all but still. Let’s keep Harry in mind as our role model. And if ya’ll are Twilight kids, Edward and Bella waited til they got hitched. And that’s where I’m going to leave that because this probably doesn’t need to become another “Twilight creeps me out” rant.

guido hot muscle guy

God I feel like all I can do is apologize to these people finding my blog. I don’t think guidos are hot and I can’t help it. I’m sorry. The Situation scares me.

Furthermore, a guy named “The Situation”? What the hell? I didn’t know you could arbitrarily name yourself after a noun. Maybe I should be “The Disaster”. What’s with that?

Even though I can’t send you in the direction of hot guidos, I can tell ya’ll all about my real life interactions with some guidos.

“in times of old when i was new”

AHA! I told you it would come in handy one day! Darling person who searched for this, I can TOTALLY tell you all of the words to the Sorting Hat’s song. Like if you walked up to me on the street and said “tell me what the Sorting Hat says in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix“, I could and most definitely would. It’s quite an accomplishment, I know.

how to tell if your house is haunted

That’s another popular search, which I can actually help out with! See, during last year’s summer I became somewhat convinced that my house was haunted due to the fact that it made noises a lot. And talks. But that’s not the ghosts. Anyway, I came up with a nice little guide to figuring this stuff out. See how servicey I can be?

Okay, it’s time for me to head back to studying. And Glee will be on shortly and I’m sort of enamored with two of their cast members in a public way .