Mummy! Mummy!

A few days ago, I went and sat outside the Louvre kind of like a creeper because I could get in for free if I brought my Polish passport and I’m a poor college student so of course I’m not going to pay money to get in. On the 4th, I decided to go all out and bring my passport with me so I could go check out the Mona Lisa, again. Spoiler: it’s small.

I took the train in because I’m cool like that and because standing outside in the hot sun waiting to get in is not my friend. Thus, the only pyramid I saw today was this one.

The Da Vinci Code had something important here. I don't remember what it was but it doesn't exist in real life.

Once I got inside, I wanted to go see the Mona Lisa first so then I could wander around aimlessly, much like I do around Paris. But I somehow managed to get lost. Instead of ending up in the Italian art section, I managed to get into the Egyptian art area? I’m not really sure how I did that but it was ok because I like mummies. I used to be terrified of them because when I was five, I watched Reading Rainbow and there was an episode about mummies and after that I dreamt that this huge mummified owl came and swept my daddy away into a nest in our backyard and it was very emotionally scarring. Luckily, the fifteen years in between dream and reality have managed to make my fear of mummies mostly disappear.

Not sure whose mummy thing this is but it's AWESOME

The inside

I am now fairly sure that when I die, I want to be mummified and put into a coffin as fantastic as those. Also, a pyramid would be swell. kthnx.

Then, after I went through the Egyptian art, I decided to go upstairs instead of traipsing back through to get to the Mona Lisa. So again, instead of Italian art, I managed to get in to the French stuff. Most of the people they painted were pretty ugly. And from what I know, they tried to make them look better than they did in real life for portraits so I’m not sure whether they had completely different standards for beauty or if the artists just really got stuck painting ugly people and this was the prettified version.

I was finally headed to the Italian section when a Louvre tour guide grabbed hold of me. He began by speaking French and once he realized I didn’t know any, he told me that if I lived in France, I’d be “his”. And that I had a “smart face”. I’m not completely sure what he meant by that but we were in the Roman room and he started shouting stuff at me about the art work and could he please give me directions to where I want to go? It was really awkward because the people in the room could tell that I was creeped out but no one bothered to save me. Thanks Frenchies. I appreciate the rescuing.

After I managed to escape his overzealous explanations (“That ring! So old!”), I got to the Mona Lisa.

The crowd in front of the Mona Lisa

Up close and personal

The actual way you get to see the painting

I decided that it was time to peace out of there and went back to the gardens near the Louvre. I plopped down with a book in the gorgeously green grass and started to read. Not even ten minutes later, guess who was sitting right near me!

Oh yes, Green Shoes Boy! He looked gorgeous in a button down again, which I’m pretty sure is his signature look. And the quintessentially French girlfriend was no where to be seen! Granted he only stayed near the Louvre for like thirty minutes but still. Amazing. Exciting. Fantastic.

Along with him, there was also a bunch of good looking guys who took off their shirts.

Theoretically this picture is of the statue of the naked lady

See, I knew ya’ll would appreciate seeing how green the grass is over here. And the naked statue. Those guys in the corner were just accidentally there. Totally accidentally.

But, although they are completely gorgeous, they were pretty much douchebags. Two of the four were American and the other two were Australian. They were in Europe to get laid. The best looking one said that he was “in [his] prime” and that he could “get a girl in five minutes flat”. While so far I’ve been really lucky in meeting awesome guys, it’s important to remember that there are guys like these in Europe too, the type of guys who are total skeezes and probably riddled with unsavory diseases.

Because I want to end this on a happy note, the chances of me seeing Green Shoes Boy again are fairly decent, if I move into the Louvre gardens. Might be worth it.