Woah. I’m officially finished with my second year of college. I can’t believe it, and yet it’s here. I’m jetting off on a plane to Europe in a few hours and I’m half way done with my college education. Jesus Christ, when did I get so old? About a year ago I posted a recap of last year. This year I’m going to do the same.

During Summer 2009, I had an affair with a machine and realized that the time I spent at the gym was definitely related to how hot the trainers were. And whether or not a certain hot soldier was working out on an exercise bike when I got there or not. I spent my summer working at the Store, where I wrote a letter to my male customers about how letting me “accidentally” walk in on them in the fitting room isn’t really all that hot. I also tried to be nice to my readers about the fact that I fail as a blogger a lot and give them a list of places to read stuff because I apparently can’t write a post to save my life. Then I added in the fact that I went to a Coldplay concert that was absolutely positively amazing. Plus I rambled on about how I brought the wrong shoes when I went to visit my friends at their college. That was kind of a fail.

What can I say about my sophomore year of college? This year I became an RA and took way too many trips to the hospital with numerous residents. I’m saving those fun stories for after graduation.

P and I became fantastically close friends. We’ve had quite a few adventures involving wonderfully foreign boys and a trip to Brooklyn at 4 AM on Halloween, convinced that we “fell back” an hour and it was only 3 AM. Who changes time on Halloween? I mean really? That’s asking for confusion. I didn’t write about that because I love my brother very much and would like to see him live to be 30. I also got screwed over by a friend, whom I’ve obviously since forgiven and love a lot but it was still a huge part of my life and has jaded me in some ways. It also taught me a lot about being “decoration” and how uncomfortable clubs and places like that make me. I took a French class where I revealed my utter and complete inner nerd to my professor by writing a biography of Harry Potter, which wasn’t really at all appreciated. He kind of ignored my topic, which was insulting because, hello HARRY POTTER! And especially when 90% of the girls in my class wrote about Coco Chanel, you’d think Harry would be refreshing. Then I went home to South Carolina and kicked my friends’ asses at poker. In December I went a little picture crazy and posted a lot of images and about how I went to Central Park with a certain photographer friend who was coincidentally brought up again when I made a shitload of excuses for someone. It’s okay though because I am really skilled at avoiding people. It’s a skill.

I wrote my first ever guest post over at Cheryl’s blog, which was insanely exciting. It was all about my insane talents as a Facebook creeper and how I’m going to try and stop doing that. Apparently this is a theme common in my life because I just wrote about it a few days ago here.

I also turned 20 this year, which is insane. I celebrated with another extravaganza, this one only being one day. We ate dinner at Elmo and went to a club Green House (I think). We also blew out a Yankee candle because that’s how we roll. And because we can never remember to actually buy candles.

I spent Valentine’s day with good old P, celebrating our singleness by going to a Ke$ha concert and finding our new favorite band, Black Taxi. We’ve managed to see another Black Taxi show and were going to go to one in Brooklyn a few weeks ago but life and school got in the way.

P & R got me tickets for a John Mayer concert at MSG so I got to see him live. It was amazing. My favorite part was when he sang “Who Says” and substituted NYC boroughs instead of New Orleans or whatever.

Then I wrote a relatively depressing post about wanderlust and wanting to move around. I finished a ton of projects, including building a chair for a class. See how cute it is?
I created an entire selling presentation for Givenchy Phenomen’ Eyes mascara, which my professor refuses to tell my grade for because he’s a crotchety old man. I had fun nights out in the city. I had a good time.

Next year I’ll be a junior and finally turning 21. Hopefully I’ll keep the same friends and have even more good times. But for now, a thank you to all of my wonderful friends. I love ya’ll so much.

From here

I’ve never thought of Mondays like that. I like it.

From here

Letters to the girls on the floor above him.

I’ve written about this song before. It’s one of my absolute favorites. I fell in love with it five or six years ago in Paris and my love for it has yet to fade. There’s something so desperately romantic about it. I’m not sure how to completely explain it but this is probably one of the best songs I’ve ever heard.

From here

The last one perfectly illustrates my current situation. I’ve got about 32 minutes of battery life left and I’ve locked myself out of my room but it’s all okay because I can make a wish at 11:11.

I’ve got a plane ride out of here on Wednesday and I’m done with classes. It’s warm and somewhat sunny and life is happy and beautiful and it’s all going to be amazing and great. That’s what I’ve got to remember. Happy.

Facebook.

I’ve been a member since December 16, 2006. My first profile picture was one of those typical Myspace shots, a terrible “let’s look away” sort of things.

See what I mean? Heavy black eyeliner? Check. Not looking at the camera? Check. Posing awkwardly? Check.

As time went by, I posted more and more pictures. Slowly, I became increasingly reliant on the site, using it to keep in touch with my old friends and check out new ones. It’s like conducting background checks sometimes. Using the site has allowed me to become ridiculously skilled at reading between lines, determining how well I’d get along with someone. I’m not the only one, the creator Mark Zuckerberg says he can predict relationships between people, although that doesn’t really take much skill. All it takes is time. Anyone can plop down and read wall-to-walls and check out budding romances and those gone bad. We all do it, even if you won’t admit to it. However, do you ever stop to think that someone is reading your wall-to-wall with someone?

The idea that someone, anyone, is taking time to look at my Facebook creeps me out. Even though I am fastidious about who I add (I’m only friends with one blogger–everyone else I have personally met and know), I don’t relish the idea of any of them checking out my profile and pictures. Not only that, I have almost all of my friends “hidden” from my newsfeed. I don’t want to see their updates and pictures. If I did, I could click their profile. It’s not because I don’t like my friends or I don’t care what’s going on in their lives. I just don’t think it’s healthy. And some people are just Facebook whores.

Since I don’t really like the idea of people I know looking at my profile and pictures, why would I be okay with Mark Zuckerberg? Everything about him skeeves me out. From the decidedly shading beginnings, each step Zuckerberg and Facebook take make me more and more apprehensive about trusting Facebook as my chosen platform to connect with friends.

I first took issue when Facebook changed all of my privacy settings to public. I have everything set to private and have done so for years. Whatever though, I thought. I changed them all back to super private and continued on my merry way, commenting and liking away. Then, suddenly, I began “liking” sites I had visited while logged onto Facebook. Sites that were completely and entirely separate from Facebook suddenly showed up on my profile. That isn’t ok. While the only sites that showed up were Gawker and Cracked, I don’t like the idea of Facebook publishing my viewing history. Furthermore, I am not ok with Zuckerberg doing it without my permission. I had opted out of their “Instant Personalization Pilot Program” so why were sites I had visited doing almost exactly that? Why was my information being spread around?

I’m of two minds on Facebook. On one hand, I love the connection it provides. All of my high school friends are on there and a lot of my elementary school friends from the Midwest are there. It reminds me of birthdays and lets me check out my friends’ photos. On the other more sinister hand, I don’t trust Zuckerberg. While I haven’t really delved into the issues behind my lack of trust in him, the Internet is littered with articles about him. If I don’t like people I am friends with having the ability to see so much into my life, why would I allow a stranger to sell my information?

This might seem hypocritical, seeing as how I’m writing this on my blog. I don’t believe it is though. On this blog, I have the ability to publish whatever I’d like. These are my words and while I’m not always certain who views them, I ultimately have control over what goes out. I understand the whole “don’t post online what you don’t want the world to see” idea. I agree with it. None of the pictures I had, or have, online are ones I’m ashamed of. I don’t take pictures I’m ashamed of. None of the posts on my Facebook or my blog make me uncomfortable. What makes me uncomfortable is placing my identity in the hands of someone who doesn’t believe in privacy, who has proven willing to sell my information for a buck without my agreement. When Facebook began showing sites I’ve visited, it’s nearly became the straw that broke the camel’s back. Having nothing to hide doesn’t mean that everything should be shared. There are certain things that should be private and, from where I’m sitting, Facebook doesn’t completely grasp that concept.

I’m still up in the air about deactivating my account. There are numerous benefits to it. The key question is, do the benefits outweigh my privacy concerns?

Right now, I’m not sure. The only reason for not deactivating or deleting my account is because I’ve taken steps to make it as private as possible. I am not tagged in any photos. My profile pictures are private and can only be seen by me. My wall is innocuous and there is no information available on my info that really tells anyone about me. Sure it says where I’m from and where I live but those are things that the people I’m friends with on Facebook are aware of. I also carefully screen anyone who requests me. Unless I know you/have heard of you through a trusted friend, I won’t add you. So why am I still so concerned about remaining on Facebook?

The only reason I’m still on is for my friends. I want to stay in touch with them and Facebook lets me do that, easily. But if Facebook continues in the direction it’s headed, chances are I’m not going with it. I wish there was a good alternative to it. Twitter isn’t, in my opinion. And while a bunch of NYU kids are gearing up to create Diaspora, it’s not there yet. I hope that they succeed though. Hopefully sooner rather than later because leaving behind Mark Zuckerberg will be freeing.

i dont want a boyfriend. i want a man that i like and he knows it and i want him to like me and i’ll know it. and i want him to kiss me out of the moment not because of the title. i want something unspoken that everyone will think we’re just friends but we’ll know its much more.

I wish I was kidding when I said that was a search. Apparently I missed the memo that said Google’s search bar is meant for complex sentences about your preferred companion. And the one where my blog became the go-to place for that. I’m pretty sure I haven’t written anything about an ideal boyfriend, mainly because who the hell really knows what they want. While I may or may not have a laundry list of things I’d like him to be like, it’s the furthest thing from definitive. The thing is, the search is sweet. The searcher is looking for someone who can be her best friend and more. That’s an amazing sentiment and something I’d like too. I just don’t really understand how a Google search brought her here. But then again, strange and sometimes creepy searches send things my way.

Catholic school girls

Another popular search that brings multitudes, probably because I wrote this. Well sorry ya’ll but I clearly defined myself as a n0t-whorish kind of Catholic school girl. I even included a picture! I think we need a refresher here.

See, me = long plaid skirt to the knees. Not ab-showing. Sorry. It’s probably for the best though. I do extend my apologies to those who stumble upon my blog searching for Catholic school girls or “naughty school teacher”. This definitely isn’t that kind of blog.

Another thing it is not okay to search for and find my blog?

hot 6th grade girls

I thought we already discussed this. Yep. We have. But just like with my whole “not the skanky Catholic school girl” thing, I think this needs repeating. Mainly because I’m hoping that this is something searched for by other sixth graders and not creepy old men because that’s just… yeah. I can’t go there. So sixth graders out there, please don’t have sex. You’re like eleven years old. Harry Potter was eleven when he went off to Hogwarts and you can bet he wasn’t having sex yet. Granted he was off saving the entire wizarding world and all but still. Let’s keep Harry in mind as our role model. And if ya’ll are Twilight kids, Edward and Bella waited til they got hitched. And that’s where I’m going to leave that because this probably doesn’t need to become another “Twilight creeps me out” rant.

guido hot muscle guy

God I feel like all I can do is apologize to these people finding my blog. I don’t think guidos are hot and I can’t help it. I’m sorry. The Situation scares me.

Furthermore, a guy named “The Situation”? What the hell? I didn’t know you could arbitrarily name yourself after a noun. Maybe I should be “The Disaster”. What’s with that?

Even though I can’t send you in the direction of hot guidos, I can tell ya’ll all about my real life interactions with some guidos.

“in times of old when i was new”

AHA! I told you it would come in handy one day! Darling person who searched for this, I can TOTALLY tell you all of the words to the Sorting Hat’s song. Like if you walked up to me on the street and said “tell me what the Sorting Hat says in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix“, I could and most definitely would. It’s quite an accomplishment, I know.

how to tell if your house is haunted

That’s another popular search, which I can actually help out with! See, during last year’s summer I became somewhat convinced that my house was haunted due to the fact that it made noises a lot. And talks. But that’s not the ghosts. Anyway, I came up with a nice little guide to figuring this stuff out. See how servicey I can be?

Okay, it’s time for me to head back to studying. And Glee will be on shortly and I’m sort of enamored with two of their cast members in a public way .

Thanks to the power of Netflix, I’ve found a load of shows that I’ve never actually watched on TV but worship online. Lately I’ve been watching Prison Break. Well I say that but I really only watched some of the first season. Sadly, I’m a child of the “need-to-know-now” generation so I checked Wikipedia to see what happens. I wasn’t as concerned with the plot as I was with him.

Enter into my life, Wentworth Miller.

Be still, my beating heart. He’s the guy on the right. A bona-fide hottie. I mean, look at that little smile.

It’s like the best smirk ever. But, much like my crush on this guy, it turns out he’s old. I mean, I figured he was somewhat old (and by that I mean late twenties) so imagine my surprise when I learned he was 38. Yep. That’s not even mid thirties. That’s late thirties. And I am exactly 20. Obviously, our love isn’t meant to be, even though he’s Princeton educated. That’s okay though. I have other crushes to cheat on him with.

One such crush is John Krasinski. Now I know he’s 31, which is slightly better than 38, right? I mean progress is being made here. He’s even filming in Manhattan right now, so I might actually somehow run into him. However, due to the fact that I’m not a crazy stalker, it’s probably never going to happen. Sure, shows occasionally film right near me but the chances of J.Krasinski being there? Slim. To. None.

But again, I am nothing if not resilient. Because my third & fourth crushes are only 28! Look how good I’m doing, going down in ages. Ya’ll ought to be proud.

They are GLEE boys! Cory Monteith and Harry Shum Jr. So cute. So utterly cute. And yet, 28 is old.

Sadly, the youngest crush I’ve got is on Chace Crawford, whom I’m never ever ever going to see because I’ve seen the entire cast of Gossip Girl and been in my favorite coffee shop in all of Manhattan while his movie was filming outside and didn’t see him once. It’s okay. It’s another fact I’ve resigned myself to. I will survive. Somehow.

After nearly two years of the same layout, I’ve finally decided to switch it up. I’ve been feeling antsy with the header but didn’t really care about the rest until I saw how amazing this layout looked on this blog. I loved it so much and was over the moon to find out it’s a WordPress layout. Hopefully the lovely Hermia won’t mind me that we’re using the same basic layout with some tweaks.

I’m also working on changing the header. I’m going to play around with a few until I like them. Hopefully I’ll figure something out. Since I’m procrastinating on packing, studying, and moving out, I’ve got some lovely time to devote to a few new ideas I’ve had to spice up my blog. I have loads I’d like to do, like update my links, finally figure out a nice little “about me”, and actually write posts. If ya’ll are reading any fabulous blogs, please fill me in! I’ve been trying to find some new ones to read and obsess over how amazing they are.

Gorgeous luggage from here.

This summer, I’m going to be jetting off on somewhat of an adventure. On May 26, I’m going to be flying to

Image from here.

I’m going to be in Paris for about a month, give or take a few days. Well, I’ll “be” in Paris. Sometime around the beginning of June I’m going to go off to London with my friend Zoe (of Zoe Meet Zac fame). We’re going to stay in a hostel for a weekend and then I’m going to hang out with my cousin at her flat. Afterwards, it’s back to Paris for about a week and half. Then Zoe’s birthday and a trip to the city she’s staying in.

After all of that, I’m flying “home” to Poland where I’ll be until it’s time to head back to school. I’m going to study for a while at the Jagellonian University and finally learn how to write Polish properly and avoid it looking like I’m writing in Czech. Basically, life is going to be mad busy and I cannot wait.

But here’s the thing. I need some help. While I’ve been to Paris twice, I haven’t really done much touristy stuff. I stay with family who lives there so I’m sort of on my own when it comes to exploring. My cousins will still have school going on and I don’t want to rely solely upon them for fun. So my question is: where should I go?

I’ve already been to the Lourve, Versaille, and Monet’s house. I’d love to find some awesome places to just hang out while I’m there. I love Montmartre so anywhere near there is an added plus.

And then I have some questions about London. Mainly, have any of ya’ll stayed in hostels there? Where should we stay? What hostel is best? Where should we go at night? Is there anything we definitely have to do?

You can comment me here or drop me an email at ideas[at]pepperedhearts[dot]com.

Postcards from here.

This summer I’m also going to make a valiant attempt to not suck as a blogger and actually update with pictures. I finally got a new and decent camera so I’m going to try and take loads of photos. I’m also going to be spending about 9 hours just chilling at JFK so you can probably expect a blog post.

My biggest issue with blogging is that I’ve got posts from the past that I haven’t uploaded because I sent them to my darling brother with questions as to his thoughts on them and never ever heard back. Thus, you can blame him for my lack of blogging.

I’m also working on a few things for school so hopefully once I’m done I’ll actually be able to show ya’ll them. One is a chair. Swear to God. I had to build a chair. Granted it’s Barbie sized but still. A Chair. Welcome to Fashion School.

Anyway, any help ya’ll can provide for fun places to go will be SO very appreciated.

You know that feeling where you can’t sit still and staring at the same four walls makes you want to go insane and jump up and down and you just need to move? When just a few minutes ago you were sitting quite happily, looking at something online, and then suddenly it happened. It’s come. That feeling. You can’t sit in the room anymore. Everything about your safe little room seems loud and small and overcrowded even though you’re completely alone in the room. And even though you feel like your room is small and your head is loud, the door seems so far away and going outside would be an escape but it’s snowing and dark and probably not the best idea. When all you want to do is run outside and just go. If you had a car you’d just drive and drive and drive. If I were home I’d drive to that perfect stretch of road that only locals know. That one behind the rink where it curves and suddenly you’re not in the middle of the town but in a forest and you can just put your foot down. But I’m stuck in my room in a snowstorm and my brightly colored scarves are annoying me and my room smells like food and suddenly I just really want a new bunch of flowers but the store is probably closed.

The feeling where everything is closing in. Not that anything happened today. But because it’s been a long month and it’s just overwhelming and the feeling comes from out of no where. If it were warmer, walking would be possible. A trip to Times Square to sit among the tourists and remember how lucky lucky lucky I am. But it’s snowing and the sidewalk is slushy. It’s dark and my phone is buzzing and everything is just driving me mad.

Wanderlust.

It hits me when it’s the most inconvenient. When snow is falling and it’s dark out and there’s no one to come with me. It overwhelms me and I sit here and try to wait it out but it won’t go away until my head feels like it’s going to explode. I need to move and scream and run but I can’t because I’m stuck here. What a convenient place to be stuck.

So I’ll sit here and wait. I’ll wait till my head stops feeling smaller and smaller. I’ll wait till Spring comes. I’ll wait for flowers. I’ll wait for everything to settle down. I’ll wait.

I’m not a Valentine’s Day kind of girl. I’ve never been one. I’ve only really spent one V-Day with a boyfriend and it was much too stressful, mainly because he could be a real jerk. This year my friend P and I celebrated by going to the Doughnut Plant which for some reason I want to call the Doughnut Planet but I’m not really sure why.

The Doughnut Plant is oh-my-God good, a there’s a crowd of people waiting an hour in the cold and wind outside to get donuts kind of good. P and I stood in that crowd, braving the arctic wind and it was delicious. And waiting in a line for an hour means you can’t just get one donut. You need more. So we each got two. I got Tres Leches and Rose Petal.

From here. Also, not the Doughnut Plant’s Tres Leches one because I am a terrible blogger who fails at taking pictures.

From here.

P had the Tres Leches and a Creme Brulee. The only thing is that the Creme Brulee is rather teensy. But still yummy.

Aside from celebrating Valentine’s Day by eating deliciousness, P and I went to Webster Hall yesterday. A friend mentioned that Ke$ha was performing and if you brought something of your ex’s, you could get in for free. Of course we had to get there before 11 but that’s no big deal if we get to save $30 and see Ke$ha.

Before Ke$ha came on, we watched two bands: The Frontier Brothers and Black Taxi. Both were good but I absolutely loved Black Taxi. Not only are they all absolutely adorable in their own way, they’re damned good. They switched instruments, threw water, clung to pipes, and sang their hearts out.

From here

Oh and the frontman, Ezra? Really hot. He came out in a pair of black and white striped pants and a bomb painted on his chest. He shook and shimmied and played the trumpet. At one point he had two megaphones in his hands. The whole band was phenomenal and I so desperately want to go see them again.

Ke$ha herself was alright. P and I intelligently avoided the packed downstairs and managed to get directly behind the lighting guys, meaning we were dead center on the second floor. I only knew one of her songs (Tik Tok) so maybe I would have liked her better if I knew more? But then again, maybe not because I had no idea about any of Black Taxi’s songs and I loved them. She put on a really short show, only four or five songs. If I had paid $30 like some people, I would’ve been pissed but for free? Eh. Whatever.

I don’t really understand why Ke$ha has a dollar sign in her name. Supposedly it’s because she isn’t in it for the money, which is bullshit. If she wasn’t in it for the money, she’d be performing in little bars in the middle of nowhere, having a good time and not giving a shit. Everyone is in it for the money.

Overall, I’ve only been awake for about 6 hours on Valentine’s Day. That, to me, makes it a damned good one.

Hope ya’ll all had a good one.